


as I reckon with the effects of your life on mine

by Nemainofthewater, ThebanSacredBand



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Don’t copy to another site, Epistolary, Family, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Jaskier has a nice supportive family for once, Mistaken Identity, Sibling Rivalry, Valdo Marx and Jaskier are half-brothers, a moustache is a very important thing, and neither of them mind as much as they pretend to, annoyingly smug older brother Valdo, bratty younger brother Jaskier, family dinners are a Time, near-identical Jaskier and Valdo Marx
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:54:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25397983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemainofthewater/pseuds/Nemainofthewater, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThebanSacredBand/pseuds/ThebanSacredBand
Summary: Valdo,You’re a scheming pile of horse dung, and, quite frankly, I hope you die.No regards,JaskierOr- Letters between Julian Alfred Pankratz and his bastard older half-brother, Valdo Marx, over the course of twenty years
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier & Valdo & Pretension, Jaskier | Dandelion & Valdo Marx, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 144
Kudos: 258





	1. The Meeting at Posada (1240)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EC_Sydney](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EC_Sydney/gifts).



> Happy birthday Sydney! You talked about being interested in a story where Valdo Marx and Jaskier were identical (leading to tooo many hijinks) and this grew out of that and into this absolute monster! We hope that you enjoy it! 💜
> 
> Nemainofthewater wrote Valdo’s letters and ThebanSacredBand wrote Jaskier’s. The original plan was to write four-ish each and yet, here we are.
> 
> If you’re finding it difficult to read the letters because of the parchment effect, just go to the top right hand at the top of the page and click ‘Hide Creator’s Style’ and the story should then just look like normal text!
> 
> This story is set in a universe where Jaskier and Valdo Marx are half-brothers, and look functionally identical to each other save for Valdo’s goatee. 
> 
> The title is from the song ‘Your Obedient Servant’ from the musical Hamilton.

  
_Dearest Julian,_

_Though I realise that there is a **high** chance that you’ll burn this letter unopened (you’re incredibly dramatic, has anyone told you that?) I’m hoping that your propensity to indulge in the basest of gossip will prevail over your more pyromaniacal urges. That’s right, dearest Julian, **gossip.** Gossip about you, specifically, and not just the everyday news that you’ve lost your heart to some countess or the other and have proposed marriage (not that those rumours haven’t also been rife. An innkeeper’s daughter, Julian, really? Youthful indulgence is one thing, but have a thought for your mother’s health, if not your own pride, and stick to paramours of your own status.) _

_It’s at this point that it behoves me to inform you that I- at great expense!- am using fireproof paper. You will, no doubt, have already discovered this when your initial attempts to burn this letter failed. Before you waste your time trying to destroy it in some other, less favoured, manner, I have also ensured that the letter is waterproof and incredibly hard to shred. I don’t believe that you’ll be able to simply abandon it- your sense of morbid curiosity is far too strong for that, and I don’t believe that your ‘poetic’ soul would be able to bear it._

_That and the fact that if you leave this letter unread, I **will have won**. Not that I haven’t already won- compared to your listless caterwauling and insipid rhyming scheme even the lowliest alley cat can be seen to have beaten you- but I will have finally and definitively proven that you can’t even bear to look at my words without flinching. Something that I was already well aware of, seeing as you haven’t bothered writing to me since your graduation. You do remember what letters are, Julian? They are the most common form of communication, used to share **news** such as, for example, an errant younger brother being kidnapped by elves, and somehow transforming a near-death experience into an irritating earworm. _

_Setting your lack of familial duty aside, I can hardly believe that it’s been an entire year since we’ve seen each other last. I have, of course, been extremely busy with my prestigious court appointment in Cidaris, and no doubt you’ve been busy ‘finding yourself’ or whatever it is you’re doing after having run off from your professorship at Oxenfurt._

_I understand that your tolerance for actual responsibility is shockingly low, but I hadn’t realised that you’d sink to actually climbing out of the window and making off in the middle of the night like some common vagrant caught stealing stale bread. A reminder, perhaps, that no matter how low my opinion of you there is always further for it to sink. No doubt you’ve forgotten to bring anything of actual **use** such as a bedroll. Shall I expect to hear of your demise from starvation in the next few months? Or is your plan to fade into obscurity and live off the scraps of rotten fruit that the masses throw at you to stop your incessant singing? Can it be that you’ve taken Professor Dowland’s admonishments to heart? When he told you that he would pay you to stop mangling his ‘Allemande’, that wasn’t supposed to be career advice, no matter how tempting it is to rely on people to pay you to go away. _

_If you do end up sinking that low, do make sure to stop by the Royal Court at Cidaris; should the entertainment of seeing you in your natural habitat, that is to say playing to those too polite and those too slow to escape you, be amusing enough, I have no doubt that King Mathen would feed you a bowl of stew and a heel of bread. One must remember to remain charitable to those less fortunate, of course. Though considering that ridiculous notion that people have that we resemble each other in any way, shape, or form, perhaps you had better avoid the court lest you be thrust into musical responsibilities that you are ill-suited to; a royal court is **very** different from the taverns and public houses that I believe you have been frequenting! A more simple rhyming scheme and repetitive musical motifs can be forgiven when indulging the masses, but a royal court requires something vastly more refined. I wouldn’t want you to flounder, Julian; I (unlike you) remember all of finals’ week and would prefer history not repeat itself (though I hear that they are finally rebuilding the East Tower! And out of much less flammable material)._

_Listening to your latest work, I believe that you can finally agree that it was a mercy that I took the position in Cidaris; your little ditties would not have pleased the more discerning musical tastes of the court. Really, Julian. Thrust every elf back onto the shelf? He can’t be bleat? Looking at your rhyming scheme, I can only surmise that your ignoble flight from Oxenfurt is to the benefit of all future generations._

_Either the lyrics to your ‘composition’ have become unbearably mangled or your grasp of lyrics is getting **worse** ; either option seems equally likely. Though if it is the latter, then it means that you’ve decided to take up with a **Witcher** of all things, and not just any Witcher but the Butcher of Blaviken himself! _

_Your self-destructive streak has reached concerning heights if you’re reduced to following mutant monsters around in the hopes of gaining scraps of inspiration between all the mainming and gore. If I don’t hear back from you in a timely manner then I shall have to assume that the brute has eaten you and mourn accordingly. I shall compose a ballad out of it of poor, naive Julian of Lettenhove and the dangers of travelling with **wild animals.** Fear not, you shall be immortalised in song as a cautionary tale that every child on the Continent shall hear. It will be a struggle to find suitable words for ‘idiot’, but I shall persevere. _

_Do write back to me, Julian, or else I shall set Essi upon you._

_I remain,_

_Your Obedient Servant,_

_Valdo Marx, the Rose of Cidaris_

_\--_

  
_Dearest Valdo,_

_Apologies for the delay in my response. It is awfully rude of me, I know, but alas, being a travelling bard makes it much more difficult for letters to reach me than for one stagnating in a royal court._

_Imagine my surprise to find your missive awaiting me among the copious correspondence on my desk upon my return to Oxenfurt. My return, yes. The rumours that you appear to have heard about me leaving out of the window in the dead of night must have been conflated from various of my amourous connections; an easy mistake to make, I am sure._

_I did, in fact, leave Oxenfurt with the **full** permission of the Dean to experience life as a wandering bard. Given the success of my trip, I am near enough guaranteed a position each winter semester; I have another meeting with the Dean in a few days, but I hardly imagine that he will say no. In fact, my newly-appreciated (though not at all **new** ) talent will probably encourage an uptake in bardic courses._

_While I can forgive your error in this matter, I am far more affronted by some of your other assertions. ‘Toss a Coin’ a “little ditty”?! Goodness, surely even you know that that is not the way to describe the most popular song of the year? That you heard it even in **Cidaris** of all places is surely evidence enough that. You may dislike my rhymes all you want - I hardly care for **your** opinion, and it is clearly not one shared: I have been welcomed to taverns across the continent, and have heard that it has been showcased in such **renowned** courts as Cintra and Vizima._

_The worst of your little note, however, is your description of the most esteemed Geralt of Rivia as a ‘monster’ and ‘wild animal’. Why, truly, he is among the more civilised fellows I have had the pleasure of meeting, yourself included. At our very first adventure together, in fact, he attempted to bargain for my freedom at the expense of his own life. It was very gallant of him, though I am most gratified to say that such a sacrifice was ultimately unneeded; you have, after all, heard my tale of his stalwart victory over the elves._

_Yes, it turns out that the White Wolf is one of the greatest heroes to have ever lived, and you do him much wrong by referring to the old vile lies about his time in Blaviken. He has already become one of my most trusted friends, having spent a good part of this year with him, and I look forward to reuniting with him again come the springtime - I am sure there are many more song-worthy adventures awaiting me._

_I can only hope that your much-gloated-about position in Cidaris is as fruitful as my wanderings, though as I have not heard any of **your** work played on my travels across the continent, I cannot tell for sure. If my dear companion and I end up in the area, I will endeavour to pay you and the court a visit, and treat King Mathen to a composer’s performance of my famous song. However, as frightfully little of interest has ever happened in that region, I doubt that our paths will cross._

_I have written to Essi too, so there is no reason to get her involved with **our**_ _correspondence: be careful, Valdo, or I might begin to think you **care** about me._

_Ever your favourite rival,_

_Julian Alfred Pankratz, the great bard Jaskier_

_Post Scriptum:_

_Given that you were so inclined as to write to me, I have not bothered to waste money on fancy paper. If you choose to destroy this I hardly care, for then, at least, I won’t have to deal with your writing to me again._

_J.A.P._

_\--_

  
_Dearest Julian,_

_How very **kind** of you to finally deign to reply to my letter. It’s been three months, and if it wasn’t for the trickle of mediocre songs making their way in from the countryside, then I would have thought you long dead and buried. Is it too much to ask for some sort of sign that you haven’t been killed by that brute of a Witcher of yours? Or, failing that small consideration, at least **visit your family** so that they stop bothering me. If your father sends one more letter about the ‘importance of the de Lettenhove name’ to me, I will be forced to hire mercenaries to **drag you back home** to visit them. Surely there must be some upside to this life of wandering vagrancy that you’ve chosen for yourself; to whit the ability to visit your parents whenever you choose. Or, as the case may be, whenever they choose. _

_I am, however, pleased to learn that you aren’t **completely** dependent on whatever small amount of food is thrown your way during performances, and can instead rest easy knowing that you have at least a part-time job. I do hope that you were able to negotiate free room and board as part of that arrangement; there’s no point in finally settling in gainful employment if you’re going to waste the majority of your salary on simple living costs. I fully expect that you’ll blow the lot of it on those garish and impractical silks you favour- when will you realise that red simply isn’t your colour?- so do remember to take your weight gain into account over the winter and plan accordingly; I have no time to put up with your vain whinings when you inevitably discover that you cannot fit into your doublets. Though considering the difficulty you have in remembering to **fasten** your doublets like a respectable member of society, perhaps my concerns are moot. Furthermore, since I doubt that the amount of common sense you possess is enough to fill even the smallest of vessels, do also remember that in winter it’s cold and that wool would suit better than silk. _

_Speaking of your lack of common sense, your erstwhile friendship with the Butcher of Blaviken (that overwrought and overdramatic ‘White Wolf’ sobriquet is never going to catch on) is going to lead to your **death** , Julian. I am not exaggerating. I am entirely unsurprised that your first meeting led to your potential death; my only surprise is that you have lasted an entire year travelling with this Witcher without injury. I realise that you didn’t pay attention during lectures, but do try and remember that a bard’s purpose is **not** to launch oneself into danger but to **observe** and then recount the events. _

_Even if your ‘most trusted friend’- and may I remind you that your taste in friends is notoriously bad, Essi and Shani excluded- does indeed live up to the unlikely praise you have heaped upon him, any one of those ‘song worthy adventures’ you so excitedly speak of has the possibility of **killing you**. If you are killed by this Geralt of Rivia, then I shall be forced to compose a song telling the world **exactly** how you died as a warning to such future idiots. No doubt I can afford a few verses about the ignoble nature of your death, in between the dire warnings of the fate that befalls all those who tangle with a Witcher. Unless you have vastly improved in the year since I’ve seen you, do not forget that your fencing skills are abysmal and that any monster that you might encounter is more likely to trip over from laughing too much at your poor stance than feel at all threatened by you. _

_I can only assume that your absence from this year’s Bardic competition was due to some life-threatening event or other; when I realised that you were absent I had to fend off concerned enquiries from **everyone** including your parents, who, in case you’ve forgotten, **travelled down** to see you perform. Alas, they had to content themselves with seeing me crowned victor. I realise that you’re the baby of the family and an ungrateful **brat** , but would it have been too much work to let someone know that you weren’t planning on attending? My victory was marred by talk of you for the entirety of their visit. Needless to say, if you do not visit soon I will not be the only person sending mercenaries after you. _

_Enclosed in this missive is a letter from Anya, as well as a package of sheet music from Essi and three months worth of your allowance. For some benighted reason messengers insist on delivering your mail to my residence in Cidaris, despite **repeated** attempts to convince them that despite some shared facial features, we are not in fact the same person. **Fix this** Julian, or I shall be forced to do something drastic. As it is, I have confiscated half of Anya’s biscuits- and do tell **your** sister that the fact she is sending you biscuits and not me is further proof that she likes you more- in recompense for my troubles. They would have gone stale before you received them, in any case, especially if you insist on only returning to Oxenfurt during the Winter semester. Strange indulgence for your escapades or not, I doubt that the Dean would be pleased to find his most flighty professor is the sole cause of a rat infestation in the post room. _

_In regard to your last comment, of course I don’t **care** about you; I merely shudder at the thought of the additional responsibility that will be forced upon me should you do anything so foolish as to perish. _

_Your Obedient Servant,_

_Valdo Marx, the Rose of Cidaris_

_Post Scriptum:_

_Jaskier, really? Your chosen stage moniker is a poisonous weed? Rather apt, I suppose when one thinks about it; everywhere and irritating to the skin. On second thoughts, I am glad to see that you have accepted your lot in life; it is always tragic when one attempts to overextend oneself despite the talent (or rather, lack of) that Destiny has presented one with._

_V.M_

_\--_

  
_Dearest Valdo,_

_I am as disgusted as you by messengers’ lack of ability to tell the two of us apart. In fact, I enclose with this letter some various things that have been delivered into my keeping since my last missive, including what appears to be a scented love letter (I didn’t open it, I do have some level of decorum, no matter what you and father - and Geralt, for that matter - enjoy telling me). I tried to tell the man who delivered it that it was not my name on the envelope, but he said something about your hideous goatee and left before I could redirect it. I have informed the family that my mail should be addressed to Prof. Pankratz at Oxenfurt, and the fact that they continue to address it to ‘de Lettenhove’ is no fault of mine (though does not entirely explain how they come to be in **your** possession, as you are not, precisely, of Lettenhove)._

_Given their refusal to refer to me by my **preferred** title, one that I have **earned** through my hard work, determination, and veritable mastery of the seven liberal arts, I myself am reluctant to visit my childhood home. You are **well** aware that I have no interest in being a Viscount, and I would ask that you do not follow through on your threats of mercenary involvement - not that I truly believe you would. What a waste of the income from your ‘gainful employment’ that would be._

_I would like to assure you that Geralt will under no circumstances allow me to die whilst I travel with him. It would hardly do him any favours if I were to die, given the extent to which I have improved his reputation across the continent. Why, we have had people throw coins at us when we enter taverns, which is a far shout from their reaction to when he was simply the ‘Butcher’ (Of course the ‘White Wolf’ has caught on as a nickname. Ye of little faith). Furthermore, he is a genuinely good person with no wish to see people die when they can be saved. Even if I were not single-handedly responsible for the about-turn in public opinion, my chances of dying at his side are far lower than they would have been had I continued to travel alone._

_I shall also endeavour to not die, not for your sake, but for all those innocent ears who would be subject to whatever drivel you say you would write upon my death. You would undo all my hard work in rehabilitating these brave Witchers in the public conscience, these men who risk so much to protect us from monsters and are so vilely treated otherwise. I am doing important work, and I cannot have you undoing such things as vengeance upon me for an untimely death._

_I am sorry, however, that I missed the Bardic competition. I simply lost track of time on the road, and by the time I realised what time it was I was miles away, and could not make it. I promise that I will endeavour to be there in the future; I was so sad not to be able to easily defeat you this year, and I shan’t forsake the opportunity again. (Another reason why I simply cannot die. To leave you as the bardic champion would be an effrontery to the concept of the competition)._

_I shall see you then,_

_The great bard Jaskier, Professor Julian Alfred Pankratz_

_Post Scriptum_

_I had intended to ignore your low-hanging jibes about my fashion sense as the childish drivel they are, but frankly I cannot believe that you would suggest that red is not my colour, when you yourself are rarely seen out of the most garish plum ensembles that burn the eyes of all who lay witness to them. Red brings out my eyes, you fashion-devoid minstrel._

_J.A.P._

_\--_

  
_Dearest Julian,_

_First and foremost, I would thank you to stay out of my personal affairs. While I appreciate the fundamental and most common of courtesies, i.e. not reading my **private** correspondence, I would appreciate it all the more if you restrained yourself from commenting on them. At least **I’m** not the one bringing scandal to the de Lettenhove name. Furthermore, my moustache is the height of fashion, and at least I have the ability to grow facial hair, unlike some who shall- for the moment- remain nameless. _

_That being said, I have enclosed another **seven** letters all addressed to you; what have you been doing, Julian? Telling your lovers that you live in Cidaris? The first letter I can believe was a mistake, but the subsequent six ‘billets-doux’ are rather too much. Conduct your affairs however you please, Melitele knows that you are going to with or without my censure, but **do not** use me to fob off your lovers once you tire of them. Else I will write back and **enlighten** them as to what age you were before you stopped wetting the bed. Or, should the matter suddenly and inexplicably **worsen** , I might find myself setting the incident with the Count de Roggeven and the iced custard to song and sending it to your students. I have no doubt they would appreciate learning more of their ‘Professor Pankratz’. I have also eaten **all** the biscuits that were sent to you- it is evident that you do not deserve them. _

_Alongside the seven unfortunate letters, I have also enclosed your allowance for the past month and a letter from father, which arrived a mere week after my last missive. I have no idea **why** or how these idiotic messengers keep confusing us, but I am **sick** of it. Perhaps you could reclaim the de Lettenhove name if only to keep our post **separate.** You will, in any case, need to shrug off all your ridiculous affectations and redon your name for the Midwinter festival; we are **both** expected back and if you leave me to your parents’ incessant questioning alone then I can and will make your life a living hell. It is not I, after all, who am running from my birthright and responsibilities- why should I be the one tied down when it is not my Destiny? _

**_Your_ ** _Destiny, Julian, is not running after a Witcher, no matter how ‘useful’ you have made yourself telling the world of his exploits. I am certain that were I to speak with your Geralt then he would agree with me. Your argument that you would be more likely to perish whilst travelling alone than by his side only reinforces that you should not be travelling at all! If you cannot bear to go home and take up your duties, then at least you should stay safe in Oxenfurt; you seem proud enough of your title! Perhaps your Witcher can visit you so that you can continue to write your little songs; I’m certain that the Medical faculty would be delighted to have a Witcher to question._

_I am very unfortunately reminded of the incident when you were five and were determined to believe that buttercups were both edible and the only thing that you wished to eat; I am certain that to this day the brain damage from the amount of- may I remind you **extremely poisonous** \- buttercups you consumed before someone noticed and stopped you is the cause of your numerous lapses in judgement. This obsession with your Witcher is, I feel, a near identical situation; you are inevitably drawn toward things that are bad for you. Just because your Witcher does not mean to harm you- though I remain unconvinced- does not mean that you will be safe from harm. At his hands or at anyone of anything else’s. _

_I shall not harp on, however; I do not believe that you will listen to me in any case, and I don’t want to give you the mistaken impression that I **care** at all for your wellbeing. In any case, I could not want to deprive your mother of her lecture material during your visit home this Midwinter. The visit home that you **are** going to undertake, no matter **what.** Oxenfurt could fall to utter wreck and ruin- as it seems to be upon the verge of everytime I hear of it in any case- and I, and your parents, would not consider that a sufficient excuse to miss this visit. _

_A threat, dearest Julian; if you do not come home for Midwinter then I shall refuse to give you your present and I shall tell your parents that the reason that you did not attend the Bardic competition was not because you’re a flighty fool who pays no attention to the passing of time, but because you already knew that I would win and therefore conceded that there was no point in participating. If you do come, however, you shall receive both your present (and no, I shan’t tell you what it is) and I will take your side when they start talking about advantageous marriages. And not only for your sake; thinking of the state of your room growing up, I pity the poor girl who ends up shackled to you. No doubt she will be pushed from her marital bed by that obnoxious hurdy-gurdy that you commissioned._

_Your Obedient Servant,_

_Valdo Marx, the Rose of Cidaris_

_Post Scriptum:_

_The only conceivable way that red brings out your eyes is the fact that they accentuate the burst blood vessels in them after your numerous drinking sessions. And for your information, my **courtly attire** is more expensive and tasteful than anything you could ever conceive of; I shall forgive your comments only because I know they come from a place of ignorance or perhaps even jealousy from the amount of clothes that I know you have ruined on the road. _

_V.M_

\--

  
_Dearest Valdo,_

_As I am sure I said previously, the fact that messengers cannot tell the difference between us is both beyond my comprehension and **not** my fault. I don't even think we look that similar, and frankly it is quite offensive that your eyesore of a goatee is something that people associate with me._

_You seem to take great delight in the reception of things addressed to me, given your repeated mentions of eating biscuits gifted to me. Continue to eat them: I don’t care. I have been eating the ones she sent to you in retaliation. I hope you enjoyed mine as much as I did yours, or I shall have to berate dear Anya for sending you the better-quality refreshments._

_Speaking of eating, I must say this before progressing on to address the points in your letter that you probably wish me to: I never once attempted to eat buttercups. I have no recollection of it, and have reasonably concluded that this is simply lies and slander due to your jealousy at my rather inspired pen name. I intend to ask mother about it when I return home for Midwinter, and I am sure she will tell me that I am correct._

_Because yes, Valdo, of **course** I am coming home for Midwinter. I am almost offended that you think that I wouldn’t. Yes, I **know** I missed the bardic festival, but that was because I was **travelling** ; I could hardly forget to return home in the middle of winter when the only other thing I could possibly be doing is **grading**. Your blackmail and promises were unnecessary although, given that you have made them, I fully intend to hold you to them. I do have them in writing, after all. (I am very excited about my present. I am still looking to find something for you, though I am sure inspiration will strike before I have to leave for Lettenhove. A razor, perhaps?)_

_A side note: you are not to speak to Geralt, ever. In fact, I shall endeavour to ensure that you and Geralt never even **see** each-other. Not that he would agree with you anyway, but still. It’s the principle of the matter._

****

_I shall see you at Midwinter, and I hope you will stop this incessant **nagging**._

_The great bard Jaskier, Julian Alfred Pankratz_

_Post Scriptum_

_I ignored them in a previous letter, but do not think, dear Valdo, that I missed the frequent references to ‘my’ parents, as though we do not share a father, and as though my mother does not still care about you and has not treated you as all-but another son. You are, unfortunately, my half-brother, and I will not allow you to distance yourself from our family any more than I am able to myself._

_J.A.P._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We both had running letter titles, and here they are:  
> Valdo writes to Jaskier after he hears Toss a Coin because he is lowkey worried  
> Jaskier is rather offended that Valdo referred to Geralt as a wild animal  
> Valdo mocks Jaskier’s new name and whatever else happens in that letter  
> Jaskier is not going to die, thank you very much  
> Valdo reminds Jaskier about the fact they both have to go home for the midwinter feast  
> Jaskier is going to be there, stop worrying about it
> 
> Although I’m not sure anyone cares, Professor Dowland is a reference to the famous English Lutenist, John Dowland (1562-1626). (I bet you can’t tell who wrote this author’s note, Sydney)
> 
> Huge thanks to La_Temeranza’s extensive tutorial on how to mimic letters which can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11549178). 
> 
> We are [Nemainofthewater ](https://nemainofthewater.tumblr.com) and [thebansacredbanned](https://thebansacredbanned.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.


	2. The Banquet at Cintra (1249, 9 years post meeting)

  
_Dearest Julian,_

_All messengers should be executed as they still can’t seem to tell us apart; one would think that after a near decade **ridiculousness** then they would remember which one of us is the one with the comfortable court position and which one of us is a part-time vagrant and part-time professor whose only defining feature is his remarkable ability to stay alive. Now that the winter term at Oxenfurt has started, I’ve enclosed the 8 months worth of your allowance as usual. Have you considered suggesting that it be sent to ‘Valdo Marx, troubadour of Cidaris’ to father? Perhaps it might actually reach you in that case. I’ve also paid extra to ensure that the money actually gets there. I have taken the extra expense out of your allowance. _

_King Ethain sends his regards; unlike his father, he remains dedicated to the Arts and scarce a day goes by that another poet or musician joins the court. As the Chief Bard in Residence, it is my duty to ensure that all applicants have the proper **training** , or at least failing that a good amount of talent. The amount of applicants that are unable to maintain a simple beat- you would not believe it. Or perhaps you would, as no doubt you’ve met them or their like on your travels as an ungodly number of them appear to become wandering bards. _

_Some of the applicants, I believe, are your old students, Julian! They are easily identifiable by the somewhat idealistic look in their eyes and their truly terrible rhyming scheme. I must begrudgingly admit, however, that despite that the majority of them are well trained. Fear not; I will gladly take on this responsibility and finish your students’ education for you. Still, yours aren’t the worst! I can’t believe that old Professor Dowland is still teaching- surely he must be decrepit by now and put out to pasture?- but I spoke to one of his students a few weeks ago who seems to be under the impression that musical compositions from the 1230s are the height of fashion. Needless to say, they did not have a successful audition._

_If you were to settle in Cidaris, I do believe that the court would accept you **without** having to undergo these pointless formalities, and not merely because of your fortuitous connections and previous acquaintance with the king. Although it pains me to admit it, your notoriety is growing. So much so that no fewer than three applicants have used one of your songs to audition, and none of them your students. I, of course, immediately rejected the two who attempted ‘Toss a Coin to Your Witcher’; I truly have no idea what you were thinking when you wrote that. It is still my belief that your degree should have been stripped from you for that monstrosity of a song. _

_Though it might sting your pride, I urge you to think carefully upon my offer. Or, if you cannot bear to spend your life upstaged by my brilliance, then at least think upon the offers that you have received from other royal courts. I **know** that there have been offers; you have boasted as much when inebriated, and though I do not put it past you to exaggerate your fame I also doubt your ability to keep up the lie for the past five years without becoming hopelessly embroiled in your own stories. _

_While you know that I have never approved of your Witcher or of your travels with him, at least it could be explained away as the youthful folly of an immature and, frankly, overindulged if not outright spoilt noble brat. Nearly a decade later, and it is not as understandable._

_I don’t say this to hurt you or to bruise your ridiculously fragile ego- at some point you are going to have to stop ranting to all and sundry about the entirely correct comment I made about your singing- but because you are getting older, Julian. No matter how many creams and herbs you rub onto your face, you can’t stop the inevitable passage of time. I don’t want you to find yourself alone and friendless in a decade’s time when all your contemporaries have moved on with their lives and your Witcher has tired of you. Only because then I would be the one to have to put up with you, of course._

_Just to **one** court engagement. It’s not like they’re going to chain you down and force you to stay- or if they do then I deplore their taste in music. _

_Your Obedient Servant,_

_Valdo Marx, the Rose of Cidaris_

_Post Scriptum:_

_Do try not to get killed or castrated by any of your cuckolded lords or ladies. Anya will kill you if you force her to be the one to continue the family line._

_V.M_

_\--_

  
_Dearest Valdo,_

_Your suggestion of **moving** to Cidaris to live at court with you is utterly preposterous. In fact, it is almost beyond my comprehension that you would even suggest such a thing._ _Can you not recall the last time we lived under the same roof for more than a week at once? Granted, that **was** before you left for Oxenfurt, so I can forgive you for failing to recall **quite** how much we were at one-another’s throats. If **I** am getting older, as you seem to want to regularly remind me, what, pray tell, is happening to **you**?_

_I would not wish to reside permanently in a royal court, even if you were not present at the same time - if, for example, I was offered a position in another court, or called upon to replace **you** , which is quite possible, given your **age**. You know full well that I struggle to stay in one place for a continued spell of time: now that I am full used to travelling for much of the year, it’s hard enough to stay at Oxenfurt just for the winter months._

_Your imploration seems at least partly sincere, however, and so I will do you the honour of informing you that I have accepted an invitation from Queen Calanthe of Cintra to play at the betrothal feast of her daughter and heir Princess Pavetta in the spring._

_Before you accuse me of anything - as I’m sure you might, as I know Cintra is simply **the** place to be, politically (I may not be at a court, but I do the utmost to keep up with the current situation, in any case) - the letter **was** addressed to me, as opposed to being addressed to you and falsely delivered. I know you think me somewhat of a rogue who would stop at nothing to increase his own fame, but I’m sure you **also** know that I would not be caught dead impersonating such a dull musician as yourself._

_I must ask you to keep this knowledge to yourself, and to not even tell our father. I was specifically asked **not** to tell anyone about this engagement. It is supposed to be somewhat of a surprise for the princess, you see. I haven’t even told **Geralt** about it yet, which may cause problems, considering he will certainly be going with me as my bodyguard just in case any of my “cuckolded lords and ladies” should also be present. I am only telling you because of how worried your letter seems about my future prospects. Fret not, for I see at **least** another decade of travelling ahead of me. I’m not yet even **thirty** , I’m hardly decrepit. _

_My best wishes to Ethain (you must be quite close if he’s still willing to put up with after **knowing** you, so I am sure you are in a position to give him my love),_

_The great bard Jaskier, soon to be beloved of the Cintran court_

_Post Scriptum:_

_I have elected to remain above your insults of ‘Toss a Coin’, given your clear lack of comprehension of **quite** what effect it has on its intended audience - that is, **not you**. Geralt and I are frequently greeted by cheers and showers of coin when we arrive in rural inns. Your opinion of its artistic merit is irrelevant._

_J.A.P._

-

  
_Dearest Julian,_

_I have, perhaps optimistically, paid a messenger who swore that he could track down anything and anyone to deliver this message to you. It simply couldn’t wait until Winter, not when I am hearing of the most interesting rumours coming from those who attended Princess Pavetta’s engagement in Cintra. Though the extra cost was great- and indeed, thinking of the previous messengers we have employed perhaps entirely useless- I could not wait another moment to hear a first hand account of the events. Oh, I have no doubt that any information that you give me will be hopelessly mired in melodrama and an exaggerated expansion of your own role in the tale (I still remember your stories when we were stealing custard tarts from the kitchen) but there will be at least a kernel of truth in them. And they cannot be more contrived than some of the stories that we have been hearing here in Cidaris._

_One particularly imaginative ‘bard’ informed us- in truly abominable verse- that the Princess was abducted by a hedgehog. Another minstrel sang a painfully tone deaf song about the glorious conquest of the Lioness of Cintra by the Salty Skellige Seadogs. Yes, those exact words were present in the verse. I had to suffer a frankly excruciating five hours because Ethain wanted to understand **what** exactly was happening with our Cintran neighbours. _

_Though not directly to do with the betrothal feast, one of the more interesting pieces of information that I received (thankfully through the old-fashioned medium of just talking) was that the bard Jaskier is apparently a eunuch, having undergone an unfortunate encounter with an ox as a boy. Needless to say, it was all I could do to keep a straight face as I listened to this tale, and the way that the man in question was waxing rhapsodic about the masterful intertwining of castrati musical motifs and your own songs. Is there something that you haven’t told me, Julian? Surely I would have had some memory of so momentous an event as you losing your balls! I don’t suppose that the rumours have made it back to Lettenhove yet? I know that Anya at least will **adore** hearing this tale, and surely you wouldn’t want to deprive your poor sister of one of the pleasures of life! _

_Hopefully the coins that you are apparently ‘showered with’ every time you so much as enter an inn- and I am extremely skeptical of this claim- haven’t unduly affected your intelligence or long term memory. Although you have **no doubt** remembered on your own, you must not forget that Anya is getting married **next spring**. Perhaps it is slightly premature to remind you of this a year in advance, but I do not trust you to remember on your own. Despite your claims that you keep ‘losing track of time’ on the road, I cannot help but notice that you have missed **three** bardic competitions in the past nine years, that is to say ever since you started travelling with your Witcher._

_What was it that you said to me, the year that I graduated Oxenfurt? Ah yes, that I was not to become too comfortable with my talent and placement at the bardic competition because you would soon be along to usurp my title. I have seen little evidence of this happening; notwithstanding the fact that I am far more talented than you and that any time that you beat me was a fluke, you are not going to even **place** if you don’t bother to turn up to the competitions a third of the time. _

_It seems entirely unlike you not at least make an appearance to mock the other contestants; in fact, the only time you seem to be punctual at all nowadays is during the winter months when you are not travelling with your Witcher. Though I doubt that Geralt is actively preventing you from taking part in activities that you once followed with an almost religious fervour, it does appear that his presence is detrimental to you when it comes to **networking** which is, might I remind you, a key part of both being a bard and also as the future Viscount de Lettenhove. (No, making contacts in the various taverns and public houses across the Continent does not count.)_

_Perhaps you might take this early reminder of Anya’s wedding as a chance to either beg your Witcher for your leave or, in the worst case scenario, bring him along with you. A Witcher will at least provide some macabre entertainment to the affair, and it could be interesting to test the mettle of Anya’s husband-to-be! If he can be scared by your tame Witcher then he is definitely not fit to be our sister’s spouse._

_Your Obedient Servant,_

_Valdo Marx, the Rose of Cidaris_

_Post Scriptum:_

_I have no idea what you’re implying in regards to King Ethain, who you should address with more respect. Furthermore, if I hear you tell **anyone** your groundless insinuations, I will have my revenge. I have changed your mind- you had better not come to the Cidarian court, I forgot what an utter arse you are. _

_V.M_

_\--_

  
_Dearest Valdo,_

_I am, of course, not a eunuch. You know this. I **know** you know this, because you would remember it and also bring it up at every possible occurrence. Thus, I can only conclude that you are sharing this absolute slander with the sole purpose of embarrassing me. I’m sure that you and your darling King Ethain (I shall not refrain from calling it as I see it, Valdo, especially as this is our private correspondence: if this letter fails to reach you it will only be because some fool messenger has mistaken the pair of us again) had a good laugh over this defamation of my good name, and would politely request that you don’t spread it any further. ~~I swear I will **kill** Geralt next time I see him.~~_

_Having been so mortally offended that such vulgar untruths about my person are being heard in such a place as Cidaris, and that you are apparently making no move to prevent them, I shall **not** tell you the whole story: you shall have to wait, along with everyone else until I have finished composing my latest ballad. However, as I know that you will **now** stop the tale’s spread, since I have so politely asked you to, I will give you **some** information, namely that there is some truth in the - much poorer in quality than mine shall be - ballads which you heard._

_As unbelievable as it may sound, Princess Pavetta’s husband-to-be **was** cursed as a child to look like a hedgehog! The pair are a love match, apparently - it was really rather romantic, if you looked past the fact that his appearance was rather horrifying. Pavetta refused her mother’s intended match for her rather **stormily** , and Queen Calanthe agreed to marry the Skelligan Jarl in order to ensure that the intended alliance still went ahead._

_There was all sort of magic and fighting and destiny shenanigans. It was all very exciting - I bet you wish that **you** had been the one invited._

_In fact! I think I’ll come up to Cidaris and perform the song directly for King Ethain! I should have finished composing it by the time I reach you. Besides, you have recently been inviting me to come and visit, and this way I’ll be able to let you all know exactly what happens, and dispel all the unpalatable rumours about my non-existent castration in one fell swoop._

_As for your reminders about certain dates: I have most certainly **not** forgotten about Anya’s wedding! What sort of brother do you take me for? I will admit that my occasional absences at Oxenfurt’s bardic competition may be unexpected, but the so-called ‘networking’ I miss out on is hardly necessary for my future intentions, and is more than made up for by the fame produced by the songs of my adventures._

_Besides, the bardic competition is **annual**. If I miss one or two, or even three, then it hardly matters, for I will be able to arrive the following year and demonstrate precisely why **I** was the one invited to perform at Cintra. Our sister’s wedding, on the other hand, shall only occur once. If I miss **that** , then the effects will be far more dire. I’m not sure Anya would ever talk to me again._

_In any case, there is no way that I will miss the wedding, because it is in the spring; I shall simply delay my departure from Oxenfurt a little and go straight to Lettenhove from there, and meet up with Geralt a little later in the year than usual. That is the only way I will be able to ensure that I won’t be at the other end of the continent for Anya’s wedding. I shall inform Geralt of my plans and your invitation, though he can be rather shy, so I will not hold too much hope for his presence._

_Hopefully this letter reaches you - rather than being returned to me by some useless messenger who thinks we are one and the same, **again** \- before I meet you in Cidaris, or I will have to repeat these points, which frankly would be rather exhausting._

_The great bard Jaskier, beloved from Oxenfurt to Cintra_

_\--_

  
_Dearest Julian,_

_It is the duty of an older sibling to indulge their younger- and less talented- siblings, and in that vein I would be **delighted** to host you for your little court performance here in Cidaris. I have mentioned your intention to visit to King Ethain and he has agreed that- as a personal favour to me- a small feast can be arranged on at least one of the days of your visit, at which you can feel free to ‘grace us’ (and I say that in the loosest of senses) with a performance of your new song. I would, of course, be able to provide a more **specific** date for the feast if you had provided me with a more specific timeframe- just saying that you believe that you’ll ‘come up to Cidaris’ is not a good indicator of how long it will take you to get here, and especially if you’ve already travelled away from Cintra! Furthermore, I have no idea how long these good for nothing messengers have taken circling around the Continent in their confusion of who, exactly, is who. _

_In light of the thoughtless arrogance that you have displayed here, I believe that the only fair trade is to be a favour for a favour; when you do finally drag yourself into Cidaris, you should plan to stay for at least a week because I have already told Ethain that you will be happy to spend a week guest lecturing on your travels around the Continent. Fear not, I shall prepare my students with admonitions **not** to take your words too seriously and to outright ignore you when you start talking about rhyming schemes and lyrics. I would hope that you would have enough courtesy not to be horribly embarrassing as Ethain has already expressed an interest in attending these guest lectures. I will, of course, also be there to make sure that you stay on the straight and narrow. Don’t worry about payment; I know exactly how much a professor at Oxenfurt earns (you have talked about it enough in your letters!) and I can assure you that you will be ably compensated, even disregarding the room and board that will also be provided._

_(If you make even one comment about myself and Ethain in the court I shall murder you. Not one comment, joke, or snide aside or they will never find the body. Do not underestimate me.)_

_I have also alerted the Royal Tailor that you will be coming, and you **will** keep one of your mornings free as we are going to visit him together to commission you a new outfit. I will also be commissioning one, so I have instructed him to use my measurements for the moment and then adjust the outfit as needed when you choose whatever doublet and trews you wish to wear. Yes, Julian, that means that I have selected the cloth and the cut of the clothes; spare your boorish complaints, the least you can do is ensure that you are dressed in **fashionable** clothes that don’t look as if they’ve been mud-splattered and travel worn on the road for once. _

_As you’ve indicated that your Geralt is **shy** (something that I can scarcely believe) am I to understand that he is not accompanying you to Cidaris? I ask as I will no doubt need to provide alternate entertainment for him- not to mention clothes as I doubt he has any suitable- if he chooses to accompany you. Something bloodthirsty, perhaps? Maybe he can go hunting- I’m sure that he’d like the thrill of the chase if he’s anything like the wolf you have christened him to be. One must keep one’s pets well-enriched, after all. _

_In all seriousness, the fact that none of the family has met your Witcher is of some concern, especially since you have been travelling with him for so long. Tell him to **overcome** his shyness lest your family start to think there is something **unsavory** about your arrangement. _

_Your Obedient Servant,_

_Valdo Marx, the Rose of Cidaris_

_Post Scriptum:_

_I can see that all the hours spent hiding your alcohol in your geography textbooks instead of studying them have paid off; your declaration that you are beloved from Oxenfurt to Cintra is highly amusing considering that not only are they located relatively closely along the coast, but also that you seem to have forgotten that Cidaris lies between them, and that you are certainly **not** beloved here. _

_V.M_

_\--_

  
_Valdo,_

_I’m only a few days out of Cidaris, so I shan’t bother with a full reply as you can get a more detailed one in person soon._

_You needn’t worry about entertaining Geralt, as he is not with me. He ran off after the events of the banquet, as you will find out when I recount them to you._

_Has it occurred to you that the reason I will not force him to meet you against his wishes is because you continue to refer to him as though he is not a genuine human being with feelings? Frankly, the comment on him being my “pet” was so vile it almost made me turn around, but a deal is a deal, and I want some well-cooked food that I don’t have to pay for and to spend some time in a comfortable bed._

_I will endeavour not to embarrass you too much in front of Ethain, as long as the clothes you’ve chosen for me don’t include any sort of vile plumed beret._

_Jaskier_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The letter titles for this chapter were:  
> Local man forgets what a horror living with his brother would actually be  
> Jaskier has actually been invited to perform at Cintra, thankyouverymuch  
> Valdo has heard that Jaskier has been banished from Cintra now, oops, and couldn’t wait until winter to drag him for it/check that he’s ok  
> Jaskier doesn’t know where such stories came from, but they are certainly wrong (fuck you Geralt)  
> Valdo is looking forward to his brother coming to visit (but don’t you dare embarrass him in front of his boyfriend)  
> Jaskier is still coming, but does Valdo have to be quite so rude about Geralt?


	3. May Valdo Marx, the troubadour of Cidaris, be struck apoplexy and die (1256, 16 years post meeting)

  
_Dearest Julian,_

_I **know** that you are in Oxenfurt- quite apart from the fact that you have taught the winter term every year for the past **16 years** and are therefore unlikely to change at this point, certain mutual friends have informed me that you have been seen wandering around the campus looking, and I quote ‘dark as a thundercloud.’ While I do not know how that distinguishes you from other years, the fact that this state has lasted for more than twenty minutes at a time is somewhat worrying. As is the fact that you haven’t replied to my last **three** letters. I could understand the messengers losing one letter, and possibly even two, but three? Three indicates either a level of incompetence as of yet unseen by the messengers or that the ‘Great Bard Jaskier’ at the venerable age of 34 summers is acting like a **child** and ignoring my correspondance because I said something that he doesn’t want to think about. I know which one I find more likely. Especially since you left the Midwinter celebration so suddenly- do you know how much pain that you caused your mother? Father was perhaps wrong to bring it up so suddenly, but Melitele Julian, you can’t just keep ignoring and deflecting forever! I had hoped that you would have seen sense when talking to me, who has always been on your side whether or not you choose to acknowledge it, but alas. It seems that you are determined to **ignore** everything every member of your family has to say. Well, I am not going to let you continue like this, even if forced to keep sending letters while you hide every time father tries to reach you in Oxenfurt. _

_Like it or not, you are our father’s **sole heir** and neither he nor you are getting any younger. Do you want our lands to revert to the Crown? Or **worse,** to cousin Ferrant? Can you not imagine the smug look on his face as he sits at the head of the table, lecturing poor, defenseless generations of de Lettenhove children about the importance of his job? Furthermore I **resent** your insinuations and outright words that I, of all people!, should be the one to take up the title upon father’s demise and continue the family line. There are several problems with **that** , Julian, that you are quick to overlook in your eagerness to renounce your title and continue with your insipid life, carousing around the Continent with your tame Witcher. But since you appear to conveniently forget them every time it is of convenience to you, allow me to enumerate them!_

_First and foremost; I am **illegitimate.** Who was born first has no bearing on the matter. You and **your** family may play at forgetting this key fact, but I never can. There is no conceivable way that I can inherit the title; I cannot even inherit the de Lettenhove name. Despite all your pretty words of brotherhood, you are worse than a stranger to me, Julian, for you are a man to whom I will one day owe my livelihood and my life to, ~~and sometimes I hate you for it.~~ And I am not the only one. Think of the hundreds of tenants, depending on your family to protect them from bandits, to mend their roads, to organise relief in hard years! At this point in time, I would not trust you to look after a cat, never mind actual people. **Think** Julian, about how much harder it will be to learn these skills once father has passed! _

_Second, I **refuse** to pass on the family line; you know very well that I have no inclination in that sense, and as I have no **obligation** to do so (unlike **you** ) I shall not. You must marry Julian. Marry seriously and well; not those sham proposals that you insist on making to any passing being who catches your eye. I hear that you are currently enamoured with the Countess de Stael; while a lovely woman (who I believe could easily have **both** of killed if she did so desire) she is already **married** , and not to you. To put it crudely, Julian, the army of bastards that you have no doubt already fathered are of no use to anyone; you must have a legitimate child. See my above point. _

_Finally, and most importantly, I have made my own life in the Cidarian court and I will **not** uproot it for you. Music was **mine** first Julian, and though I tolerated your following me to Oxenfurt and then copying me when I decided to become a bard, I cannot let this stand ~~you don’t get to have this too.~~_

_Julian, you are a **talentless wastral who panders to the taste of the masses** ; if Jaskier the Bard were to disappear tomorrow, nobody would notice. Five more bards would rise to take your place, and the world would move on. Julian Alfred Pankratz, the Viscount de Lettenhove is irreplaceable. _

_My words are harsh, but completely true. Think about the hundreds of lives that you are ruining alongside your own._

_Your Obedient Servant,_

_Valdo Marx, the Rose of Cidaris_

_Post Scriptum:_

_Hate me all you like, but do **not** ignore me. And do not bring Anya into this, she does not deserve to be dragged into this when she has more important things to worry about. In any case, she agrees with me. _

_V.M_

_\--_

_  
~~Valdo,~~  
_

__

_~~You like to pretend that you’re so hard done to, being the bastard son, but Melitele I wish I was in your place so I could snivel at my true born brother and try to force him into a marriage that he would rather die than be part of while I swan around an irrelevant court playing dreadful music and pretending that I’m important~~ _

__

_~~\--~~ _

__

__

_  
~~Valdo,~~  
_

__

_~~You can’t claim an ownership of music just because you’re older than me. If anything, I am the one here who can lay claim to music, given that I am the one out of the two of us that anyone outside of Cidaris has ever heard of. So what if I pander to the taste of the masses? Why is the enjoyment of the people somehow **lesser** than that of the wealthy? And as if **you** don’t pander to Ethain’s taste~~ _

_~~(There’s no point in insulting **Ethain** , Jaskier, he’s done nothing wrong except for inherit his father’s court bard)~~ _

__

_~~\--~~ _

__

__

_  
~~Valdo,~~  
_

__

_~~You’re lucky I’ve even **received** your letter. In fact, after the second arrived I left Oxenfurt to stay with my darling muse the Countess de Stael in the hope of ignoring you further. Maybe you would have had your wish after all, but the foul mood that your third letter reaching me at her estate left me in was enough for her to tire of me. You see, it is entirely **your** fault that I am still without a wife.~~ _

__

_~~\--~~ _

__

__

_  
~~Valdo,~~  
_

__

_~~I can assure you I don’t have any bastard children. Unlike our father, I am not so foolish as to strew my seed any which way. Would that **he** had been more careful~~ _

_  
_

__

_~~\--~~ _

__

  
_Valdo,_

_You’re a scheming pile of horse dung, and, quite frankly, I hope you die._

_No regards,_

_Jaskier_

\--

__

_  
~~Dearest, Julian,~~  
_

_~~Fuck you too. You’ve always been spoilt by **everyone** in your life and you can’t just demonise me because your responsibilities are finally catching up to you. The only steaming pile of shit here is you~~ _

_  
_

__

_~~\--~~ _

__

__

_  
~~Dearest Julian,~~  
_

_~~I’ve never heard you so laconic in your life, maybe your fucking pet Witcher is rubbing off on you since you prefer following him around like a loyal puppy instead of spending any time with your actual family~~_

_  
_

__

_~~\--~~ _

__

__

_  
~~Dearest Julian,~~  
_

_~~Your ignoble banishment from the Countess de Stael’s side is proof of what I was saying- that you need to find something less transient than these meaningless relationships~~ _

_  
_

__

_~~\--~~ _

__

__

_  
~~Julian,~~  
_

_~~Dorregay told me~~ _

_~~Today I learnt from~~ _

_~~Melitele, Julian, I fainted today in Court when I heard the news in front of Ethain and everyone and when I woke up the only thing I could think was that of course this had happened because it’s inevitable when you travel with a Witcher that you get **hurt**~~ _

_~~Am I a bad brother?~~ _

_~~Please don’t be dead~~ _

_~~I swear that I won’t speak of your responsibilities again, just don’t die~~ _

__

_~~\--~~ _

__

  
_To the Honourable Julian Alfred Pankratz, styled Jaskier the Bard,_

_Julian. Lord Dorregaray, the Court Mage of Cidaris, informed me that it is common knowledge amongst his circles that the Witcher, Geralt of Rivia, recently approached one of his brethren, one Yennefer of Vengerberg, to heal his friend from an- almost fatal- djinn attack that subsequently destroyed several buildings in Rinde. As I cannot imagine that a Witcher has many friends, and that your Geralt is very distinctive, I can only imagine that the fatally wounded friend was you. ~~I have heard no subsequent tales of either the survival or the demise of the Witcher’s injured companion.~~_

_I have made copies of this letter and sent them both care of Oxenfurt and the Countess de Stael, as well as entrusting copies to both Essi and Priscilla in case they find you on your travels._

_Please reply to this letter at your earliest convenience ~~and don’t you fucking dare be dead.~~_

_Yours sincerely,_

_Valdo Marx, Court Bard in residence of the Kingdom of Cidaris_

_Post Scriptum:_

_In the events of your survival, your family would also appreciate a letter. I gather that Yennefer of Vengerberg is somewhat of an outcast and her actions are closely scrutinised; it is therefore very probable that news of your injury has reached Lettenhove, despite the fact that I have not informed them of the news. Whatever grievances are between you and I, or you and father, don’t punish the rest of the family for them._

_V.M_

_\--_

__

_  
~~Valdo,~~  
_

__

_~~I’m sure you will be most disappointed to discover my survival (what am I **talking** about)~~ _

__

__

__

__

_  
~~Dearest Valdo,~~  
_

__

_~~I’m alive, and so are you, apparently. Thank the goddess. I hated you, I hated you so much that I didn’t even really think about what I was saying until after the fact. By that time, I knew that I wasn’t the one in charge of the djinn’s wishes, but the idea that I **could** have killed you has been rattling away in my mind since I left Rinde. I have never once been so glad to receive a letter from you. (Oh my goodness he’s going to think I’ve had a breakdown)~~ _

__

__

__

_  
~~Valdo,~~  
_

__

_~~I owe you an apology. I have said some truly hurtful things about you, and at the moment I meant them, but looking back, I know that I was in the wrong, and I regret them more than I can say. You could have **died** , and I don’t know how I could have lived with being the reason for you dying. You only want to protect our family, and the accusations that I threw at you were unfair, unkind, and largely unreasonable. I hope I can earn your forgiveness, one day, and that we can mend this rift between us. (This is. This is not something that I can say in a letter. Fuck)~~ _

__

  
_Dearest Valdo,_

_I am alive. I am so genuinely sorry for having scared you. If I had known that you would have somehow found out about this, I would have sent a letter sooner. As it is, I had no idea that reports of the unfortunate incident in Rinde had spread any further than the town itself until I ran into Essi by sheer coincidence. She thoroughly berated me for causing all of you such worry and produced your letter._

_I assure you I shall write to our father as soon as I have finished this letter to you, to let our family know of my whereabouts and also to inform them that I intend to return to Lettenhove until my next term at Oxenfurt. As much as I love ~~Geralt~~ my adventures, I have had quite enough excitement for one year._

_The main reason I am going home, though, is to make amends. I know I left home last winter in quite a state and with several relationships strained, and having come closer to death than I had imagined I find that the cause of these arguments is not as pressing as I had once feared._

_I am still in no position, I feel, to take up the mantle of Viscount, and I know that you are not either. We are, perhaps, more similar than we like to think. Another arrangement will have to be made - perhaps Anya’s husband, or our cousin Ferrant? We shall have to think on it - and I know now that I will have to play a role in arranging it, as much as I do not wish to._

_I intend to attend the bardic competition this year, and I hope that I will see you there, in order to formally apologise for causing you such worry. And also so that I can once again defeat you with my vastly superior musical skills, but that is besides the point._

_Best wishes,_

_Jaskier, or Julian Alfred Pankratz_

_\--_

__

_  
~~Dearest Julian,~~  
_

__

_~~You sound like you’re dying. I don’t believe that you’ve ever apologised to me in your life. But then, I haven’t ever apologised to you either. If this is some bullshit repentance because you’re about to leave us~~ _

_~~me~~ _

_~~us~~ _

_~~No that isn’t fair. Perhaps we are too alike. A~~ _

__

  
_Dearest Julian,_

_I am glad to hear that you are well and are still counted amongst the living. I shall have to send a gift to Essi for her services in delivering the letter to you. Aside from your unfortunately close brush with death, I hope that you are in good health._

_I am sending this letter to Lettenhove as I believe that it will be more expedient than trying to anticipate which towns you will pass by on the way back home and at what speed; I am planning on returning to Lettenhove myself soon. I have several weeks worth of engagements before I will be able to travel, however Ethain has kindly arranged with Lord Dorregay for me to travel by portal once the time comes. I expect my letter will arrive a week ahead of myself, and hopefully before you arrive in Lettenhove, though I have sent an additional letter to father informing him that I am coming in case you take longer than anticipated, as I do not believe that he would stoop to reading any of his children’s post._

_I would ask you not to act on anything in haste before I arrive; the two scenarios that you have outlined, while appearing eminently feasible, may have other repercussions that neither of us have thought of, and I believe that they should be discussed with the persons in question before being brought up to father. While this does mean that I shall have to endure cousin Ferrant’s company for longer than enjoyable- that is to say for more than an hour at a time- I have heard said that good compromises involve dissatisfaction for all parties involved._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Valdo Marx of Cidaris_

_Post Scriptum:_

_Lord Dorregay enchanted this parchment for me; you should be able to send a reply by writing on the back of the letter, which then will be automatically scribed onto a similar piece of parchment I keep in my quarters. I would ask you to let me know if you prefer for me not to return to Lettenhove; if so I will abide by your wishes and shall see you at the bardic competition._

_(When I asked Dorregay why this enchantment was not more widespread- as it certainly would have solved our messenger problem- he informed me that it was expensive in both time and ingredients and that it was one use only.)_

_V.M_

_\--_

_Valdo,_

_Do come, if Ethain can afford to spare you. ~~It will be good to see you.~~ I’m sure us presenting a united front to father will be the best way to convince him of the logic of whatever plan we come up with._

_Jaskier_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Valdo is pissed and wants Jaskier to man up and accept his responsibilities  
> Jaskier tells Valdo to fuck off  
> Valdo totally thinks that Jaskier is dead and that their last conversation was an argument.  
> Jaskier isn’t dead and he might be sorry  
> Valdo remains very polite and is also coming to Lettenhove  
> Jaskier writes a quick note in reply


	4. The Mountain (1262, 22 years post meeting)

  
_Valdo,_

_I know that it is not like me to write to you unprompted - believe me, I did not expect to find myself in such a position - but I do not know who else to turn to. You are the only person I have kept in constant contact with all these years, ~~except, of course, Ge,~~ and a small voice in my brain keeps telling me that to impose myself on anyone else would cause them too much bother and that they would not want me. I have never found myself worried about bothering you, and now I must beg for your patience. _

_~~I have been heartlessly~~ _

__

_~~I am alone~~ _

__

_~~Everything is~~ _

_(Forgive the mess, I do not know what to write. Words have always been something I can rely on but now they are fleeting and I don’t know what to **do** )._

_You were right. You were right, all those years ago when you called me self-destructive, when you told me I would get hurt. You were not right, when you called him a monster, I have denied that and still will, but I cannot deny that he has hurt me as you told me he would._

_Or not as you told me he would. He has not placed me in the path of a Kikimora or caused any sort of pain that can be seen. Rather, ~~he told me that if life could give him one blessing, it would~~_

_Goddess, I can’t even write it. It hurts, deep in my soul, to even think about what happened between us. I feel like my very heart has been cleft in two._

_Just writing that feels insincere. After all, I am well aware that I have claimed such things many times before. I would not be surprised if you rolled your eyes at this as another of my flights of fancy. But Valdo, please. Please, if you have ever believed me in anything, believe me in this: that I am alone and lost and friendless, and that, for all that we have bickered and fought for all these years, you are the only person that I can turn to for support, now._

_I swear I will not be too much of a burden for you. I simply need somewhere to rest and lick my wounds and consider what to do next; somewhere safe, where I will not be at risk of running into bandits or monsters or Witchers who do not want me. If you could spare me a room at Cidaris, I would be ever in your debt._

_Yours, desperately,_

_Julian_

_\--_

  
_Julian._

_Come at once._

_Your brother,_

_Valdo_


End file.
